Biological father of emaciated boy talks about attempts to save him

written by: Nelson Garcia posted by: Dan Boniface

Provided by a concerned person:   Holly

DENVER – Josh Norris is haunted by the memory of a son he never met. He says if he could have found Chandler Grafner, he would still be alive today.

Instead, the boy's guardians are now charged with starving him to death.

"I look at myself in the mirror every day and tell myself, 'I failed him,'" said Norris.

Monday, Jon Phillips and Sarah Berry pleaded not guilty to the boy's murder. Court documents say they kept Chandler locked in a closet for days without food or water or access to a bathroom.

Chandler weighed 34 pounds when he died. Phillips was awarded custody of Chandler because he is the father of Chandler's younger brother.

At the age of 18, Norris says he got his then-girlfriend, Tina Grafner pregnant.

"I was working at 7-Eleven making $8.50 an hour," said Norris.

He says that's when he decided to join the U.S. Navy to make a better life for himself and his soon-to-be-born son.

While at basic training, Chandler was born early. Norris says when he returned to Colorado a few weeks later, Tina disappeared with their newborn son for personal reasons. Norris claims he searched on the Internet and all over town and tried to find them without success.

"They don't make a guidebook to follow when you're looking for somebody," said Norris.

He does admit he could have done better and at 18, he was still young and naïve.

Tina could not be reached for comment.

However, her mother, Sandra Younger says Norris did not try very hard to find Tina and Chandler. She says he never contacted them when he was away in the Navy.

Younger thinks as a teenager, Norris was scared of being a father and ran off. But, Younger did tell 9NEWS she would have like to have seen Norris with Chandler and that he could've saved the boy's life.

Tina lost custody of Chandler after she was charged with neglect.

Initially, Norris was not listed as the father on Chandler's birth certificate. It wasn't until after the boy died that paternity tests were done, confirming that Norris was, in fact, the biological father, which he says he knew all along.

Norris didn't hear any news about Chandler's well-being till he heard he was dead.

"If I would've had contact with Chandler that I should've had, I know none of this would've happened," said Norris. "Because there's not a day that went by that I didn't care about him, that I didn't think about him even before I knew what happened to him."

Phillips and Berry are scheduled to go on trial in March. Defense attorneys say a pre-existing medical condition may have caused Chandler's death.

Norris says he spends a lot of time at Chandler's grave these days. He says that is their time together.

"To this day, I would still rip the heart out of my own chest and put it in his if I could," said Norris. "I may never get to know him like everybody else knew him and I may never get to see him smile. I may never get to tell him I love him. But, everyday I sit next to him and I get to tell him all these things."

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